Disappointment, NaNo, and things

On Saturday, I officially decided to stop NaNo.

Though I was right on target or even a little ahead for my daily word count until then, I felt NaNo was no longer productive for my WIP. I probably could’ve written Resurrecting Hope during NaNo. Their story poured out of me effortlessly. This one… not so much. I’m at the point where I’m rushing to write each day just to meet a word count. I’m not so sure these guys are going where I want them to go, and I’m quite sure the writing is suffering. Meeting a 50K word count for November wouldn’t benefit me if I end up deleting half of it, so I took a couple days off to recharge. I’m rereading everything to see what’s staying and what’s not, and then I’ll go back in and try to knock out the rest of the writing.

I knew all along winning NaNo wouldn’t really be possible for me as the last week of November is crazy busy for my family and I’d have no time to write. I’m so glad I did this though and if the stars align will certainly do it again next year.

On a completely different but somehow related topic… my few days of recharging has actually been a bit draining.  I feel as though my Facebook timeline is having it’s own WW3. It’s not unusual to have friends who are on polar opposite sides of an idea/situation/conflict, but the callousness, hatred, bitterness, political agenda pushing, blaming, sarcasm, etc feels so out of place to me this time. I understand everyone has different opinions and I embrace those differences, but I’m disappointed in the lack of compassion and empathy for so many groups.

It’s my nature to see the bright side of things. I honestly cannot control it and I drive my husband bat-shit crazy by constantly pointing out the good in every bad situation. It’s hard this time. The massive outcry of support for the victims of the attack in Paris was a start, but I already see people making fun of others for changing their avis, others claiming we have no idea what we’re actually supporting, name calling, religion blaming….

I’m at a point that reminds me of a breakup I went through in college. It was totally one-sided. The guy broke up with me out of the blue and that was it. No talking it through or seeing if we could work through problems. I was devastated and there was absolutely nothing I could do to change it. Most of us have probably been there.

That’s how I feel right now. I could splatter as many posts as I want about the world needing to have a little more kindness and compassion and love for one another and I feel like it won’t make a bit of difference. And I’m not talking about with the extremists. I’m talking about all of us “regular” folks who make it impossible to get anything done because everyone wants to talk and no one wants to listen. The second someone disagrees with an idea or belief we have, we close off and refuse to listen. Yet there’s so much beauty and strength in someone who’s willing to listen, have an open mind, and see a different side of things.

So I pray for the citizens of Paris, and the Syrian refugees, and the victims of the bombings in Baghdad and Beirut and every other Middle Eastern country that didn’t make a huge splash in the news. I pray for our leaders and the leaders of other countries, that they find ways to work together for the common good and protection of their citizens. I pray for each of us to show love and compassion and kindness, even when we want to rage against the world. I pray we open our hearts and see the person behind the religion, the person behind the gender, the person behind the race, the person behind the orientation, and that we love those persons regardless of whether or not we like them or agree with them. I pray that we don’t let ISIL win by provoking us to spread hatred, and that we instead treat one another with respect and love one another.

That’s it. That’s everything. Sending mooshy love your way. ❤



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